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How to Help Your Child Take Its Mind off the Divorce
Undoubtedly, divorce isn’t easy for any of the family members. However, most attention should be paid to children and their perception of what is happening in the family. Changes in relationships and living arrangements triggered by the end of a marriage may be hard for kids to both accept and process. Children are prone to letting their emotions get the best of them, and they often fail to be reasonable. However, there are healthy ways of handling the situation and taking the kids’ minds off the strains of the separation procedure, helping them adjust better to new circumstances. Let’s take a look at some of the most effective ways to help your children through a divorce with as little stress as possible.
Have a Heart to Heart
It may not be easy and it may not go as smoothly as you hoped, but having an open and sincere chat with your child is essential if you want to set the tone right for all that is to come. It would be even better if you can do it together with your ex. However, if this is not possible, agree to always be civilized when kids are around and support their emotions. Explain that this is not their fault and while the dynamics will change, both of you are going to do your best to make the experience as painless as possible. You might want to have this conversation while drawing together, doing a puzzle or taking a nice long walk. Just make sure that the child is focused on what you have to say, that they understand what’s happening and that you can interpret how they feel about it.
Get a Pet
An addition to the family may be just what you need in a time like this. This way you can really take the opportunity to bond with your child and take their mind off the separation. Try to decide on the pet together and discuss the responsibilities each of you will have once you get one. It’s definitely a positive beginning of a whole new period. Once the pet arrives, the kids are going to be busy playing with it as well as taking care of it. It will help them focus on other things and cuddling with their pet has enough of a therapeutic effect to calm them down when they need it most. As a parent, you’ll benefit from this little newcomer as well, since you’ll be busy turning your home into a pet-friendly oasis. Also, don’t forget to tend to your garden as well; fence off all things you don’t want to be dug up or stomped on, scatter some toys on the lawn, and, if you decide on a kitty, make sure the plants in your yard are the feline-friendly kind, that will be harmless to their instinctive curiosity.
Redecorate Their Room
This is a project you can enjoy together with your little ones. Spend some time chatting about new ideas that could give their bedroom a little facelift. See what your kids would like, surf the internet for inspiration and find some fun DIYs that will result in a cool makeover. Let them choose the things they like and don’t interfere too much if they are doing an independent project. They need to see that you are appreciating their needs and wants, that you are acknowledging them and their opinions. Not only is this a great way to pass the time, but it is also a wonderful and creative opportunity to bond. After you are finished with the major things you set out to do, why not build a little blanket fort in which you can read and tell stories to each other. Such forts give children a sense of privacy and security, and if you associate it with a healthy, productive activity such as reading, it will come in handy if emotions become overwhelming at a certain point.
Prepare Meals Together
Cooking together is another great way of establishing somewhat new daily routines. Mealtimes without the other parent tend to be a little melancholic, if not a bit awkward at first. Start planning and making meals together, and start a new ritual which includes just you and your kids from the preparation of the meal to enjoying the food at the table. Find some kid-friendly, colorful recipes and let the children help out. This way you are showing them that although you’re going through some major changes and emotions right now, they are still as important as they have always been. Their opinions matter and their emotions are not neglected. You are demonstrating that you need each other and the help is much appreciated.
What is important for a child’s wellbeing while the parents are going through a separation is that the kids understand that both mom and dad still love them the same, but that the upcoming changes have to be accepted and dealt with in a healthy manner. Include your kids in making those changes and try to look at it as a new, exciting beginning.
About the Author: Pierre Zarokian is the CEO of Submit Express, an SEO Company, and Reputation Stars, a Reputation Management company. Zarokian also writes for Search Engine Journal publication and has spoken at many industry trade shows.