Everything You Need to Know About Divorcing with Kids in Illinois

Divorcing with Kids in Illinois

In many divorce cases, children are a factor that must be considered by both spouses. The thought of adding kids to the already emotional and complicated divorce process can lead many parents to remain in their marriage for years longer than they would have liked. Parents may firmly believe that staying with their spouse is what is best for their children, but in some cases, this idea can become an excuse that is used to avoid jumping into the uncertainty of unmarried life.

With over 25 years of combined experience working with divorcing parents, our DuPage County divorce attorneys have compiled a list of considerations that divorcing couples with kids can reference throughout the legal process. The legal and emotional intricacies that come along with divorce make it critical to be prepared for the effect that divorce can have on your kids and your family.

Telling Your Kids About Your Decision

First things first, parents who have made the definitive decision to file for divorce should inform their kids about their choice from the get-go. While it can be easy to do, it is never a good idea to put off this dreaded conversation. Your kids should hear about your divorce from you and your spouse, not from your nosy neighbor down the street or through their own assumptions. You may not know where to begin with the conversation, since you likely never planned on having it in the past. In order to have a successful and productive conversation, be sure to plan out your discussion with the following considerations in mind:

• Be honest and open. You should never sugar-coat the specifics of this conversation with your children. Though you do not need to go into the nitty-gritty details of why your marriage is ending, you should be clear that you and your spouse are filing for divorce and that the decision is permanent. If you present your children with long-winded, convoluted explanations, they may be confused about what is happening and what they can expect in the future. If they ask why your marriage is ending, provide them with an honest, age-appropriate explanation while avoiding condemnations that may affect their future relationship with you and your spouse.
• Don’t forget “I love you.” Though it may seem obvious to you, it is important that you stress that your decision to divorce is not a reflection of your love for your children. Some kids will assume that they somehow played a part in the end of your marriage, or they may think that your divorce will change your dedication to them as a parent. Remind your children that you love them and that your divorce, or anything else, will not change that.
• Present a united front. Even though your marriage may be ending, your relationship as parents will continue into the future. It is imperative that you and your spouse be a team when it comes to your children. You should plan the conversation that you will be having with your children together so that you are both on the same page on how things should be handled. This will also help calm your kids by showing that you are both still their parents, even if you are ending your romantic relationship.
• Be open to talking. Your children may have questions right off the bat, or they may come up with questions in the near future. Regardless, you should tell them that you are here to talk if need be. Never force your kids to talk or tell you their feelings before they are ready. They may take time to formulate their thoughts and feelings about your decision.

Legal Details

As you already know, you will need to make additional decisions in your divorce agreement if you and your spouse have children together. If you are using divorce mediation or are involved in a collaborative divorce, you and your spouse will be able to work together to make these decisions. However, if you are turning towards litigation for the resolution of your divorce, a judge will be in charge of making these decisions for you. The following areas will need to be outlined in what is known as a parenting plan or parenting agreement, either by you and your spouse or with the help of a family court judge:

1. Child Custody and Parental Responsibilities:

These two areas really go hand-in-hand as you decide what responsibilities each parent will have. The parent that the child will live with the majority of the time is known as the custodial parent, while the other parent is known as the non-custodial parent. You and your spouse will need to determine who best fits as the custodial parent and what your parenting schedule will look like. Some choose to parent the kids on a bi-weekly basis, while others may break up their time with the kids on a daily basis. No matter your decision, it must be made in the best interests of the children. You will also need to list the legal rights granted to both parents, such as making medical decisions and having access to their confidential information.

1. Child Support:

Unless your parenting schedule is split 50/50, with each parent spending an equal amount of time with your kids, one parent will usually owe the other financial support. The state of Illinois uses a specific method to calculate the proper child support amount owed by the non-custodial parent. This calculation considers each parent’s income, the number of children that the parents have, the time children will spend with each parent and more. Child support will be paid to the custodial parent until the children reach the age of 18. If either parent’s financial circumstances change, the amount of child support can be modified by the court.

1. Relocating and Other Changes:

It is unrealistic to expect both parents to continue living in close proximity to each other for the remainder of their lives. One spouse may get a new job in a different state, or one parent may wish to start over somewhere else. For divorced parents, it is not as easy as packing all your belongings and finding a new place to live. If you are the primary parent of your children, you will need to gain legal permission from your co-parent or the court if you intend on relocating. The non-custodial parent does not have to make this same request, though you and your co-parent may need to alter the details of your parenting plan. If you intend on relocating or would like to make modifications to your agreement, you will need to discuss it with your attorney and receive permission from the court.

As you can see, there are a number of unique considerations that must be made if you are a parent filing for divorce. Despite the changes that divorce can bring to a child’s life, prioritizing your happiness in your relationship has actually proven to benefit children more than staying in an unhappy marriage. You not only become a model for your children’s future relationships, but you also show your strength as a parent. If you are a parent filing for divorce, allow a Naperville divorce lawyer to assist you with the legal details so you can focus on your family’s recovery.

Bio:

Attorney Sean P. Sullivan has over 10 years of experience in the fields of family law and business law. He and the DuPage County divorce attorneys of SBK Law Group provide dedicated representation for clients, helping them resolve highly contested disputes and find effective solutions to their legal issues.

Source:

https://www.helpguide.org/articles/parenting-family/children-and-divorce.htm

Sebastian

Sebastian was born and raised in the busy city of Abbottabad. As a journalist, Saad Mushtaq has contributed to many online publications including the PAK Today and the Huffing Post. In regards to academics, Saad Mushtaq earned a degree in business from the Abbottabad UST, Havelian. Saad Mushtaq follows the money and covers all aspects of emerging tech here at The Hear Up.Thanks